Dear Obama/Biden Puppy Watchers,

It's very nice that an enormous amount of people are taking a deep interest in the fact that President-Elect Obama and VP-Elect Biden are in the market for a puppy. However....

Let me preface by saying I am all for rescuing puppies/dogs/cats/anything with a heartbeat. Take for instance my Boxer, Buster, that was rescued from a house where he was tormented by Rottweilers. Or my other wonderful Boston Terrier/Pug, Miko, who was almost sent to a rescue facility by a relative until I intervened. There's also my Hurricane Katrina survivor cat, Scapino, with a heart condition and third ear nubbin. And let's not forget the kitten, Sparrow, we recently acquired by way of a crate out of some ladies suburban.

But come on! Aren't you taking a bit far? Saying that these people would be "heartless" to do anything but go to a shelter and rescue a puppy? I mean, that's like saying... You're a worthless human being if you just decide to have a baby instead of adopting one. It's just ludicrous. I'm not saying they should be able to go to the closest puppy mill and pick them out a winner. But if they wanted a German Shepherd from the Rin-Tin-Tin line or a Siberian Husky descended from a Snow Dog why can't they do that? Seriously. I didn't hear anyone giving Paris Hilton grief when she bought a Chihuahua from Pets of Bel Air in LA. Even Barney Bush was a designer dog of sorts coming from a lineage. Buddy, Lucky, Rex, and so on and so on which of these came from your beloved shelters?

Why does it matter NOW? Why is it SO important? Can't you just let two little girls get the puppy they want without having to hope that you won't be mad at them for loving something you don't approve of?

Get over yourselves.

Love,
Irma

Dear Golden Globes,

I'll try to keep this as short and sweet as possible.

Every year, you announce your picks for the best in TV and movies. Aside from being nothing more than a glorified cocktail party for all the Hollywood types who had projects in the last year, or projects coming up in summer 2009, your sole purpose is to forecast and influence the results of my beloved Oscars. While I'm sure I'd take issues with many of your picks this year, as in years past, I haven't been to the movies much this year (economy and all). Thus, I'm left to critique the more affordable of your picks: TV.

I'm a devoted TV watcher, and my DVR glut is well documented (see previous blog). So, it is with much sadness that I notice two glaring omissions from the nominees for television honors.

The first of these was, I thought, a given: Jim Parsons for his hilariously committed work as Sheldon on The Big Bang Theory. With CBS receiving only one nod (in the very worthy Neil Patrick Harris), this snub is especially noticeable and shameful. You can be certain this Supporting Actor will receive his due when the Emmys roll around. His work is insanely funny, and instantly quotable. Oh, and much better than that of Jeremy Piven and the hoard of other so-so talents occupying this overstuffed category.

The second oversight is one I will take particularly hard, as she will not be eligible for this award again: Kristin Chenoweth for the brilliantly plucky Olive on the (lamentably) canceled Pushing Daisies. Aside from this show being a real standout among the comedy genre, with its fresh stories and outstanding casting, Olive is the most fascinating character among them. Only Chenoweth could have brought such an energy and passion to the former horse jockey-turned-lovelorn PI in training. Also, as the only character not privy to Ned's secret, she's allowed to take a comic tone at almost every turn without focusing on the gooey drama between the lead characters. Her vocal talents alone should vaunt her to the top of this otherwise unimpressive heap (Melissa George = blech!). You've now missed your only chance at honoring this soon-to-be missed highlight of TV in the post-strike swath of reality and other crap.

You can atone for your sins with a respectful nod to Jim Parsons next year, as his show is sure to be returning, but I wouldn't be too upset if Kristin Chenoweth arranged for a certain former acquaintance to drop a house on you.

Disenchantedly,

Patrick James

Dear DVR,

I've been reading a lot about this this called "DVR guilt," a backlash problem people are having with a build-up of television programming on their box that they just can't get to.

 

A quick inventory shows me I've got the entire season thus far of The Mentalist, and the entire last season of The Pick-Up Artist (embarrassing, I know, but it's so funny).  Also, there's three Without a Traces, a Dirty Sexy Money, three or four LA Inks and Dr. 90210s, three Houses, and a Work Out marathon thanks to Bravo.  I'm sure there is a bunch of other things there as well, but these are the biggest offenders.  We only just cleared down Dirty Sexy Money from the whole season to just that one episode a week or so ago, and watched two Pushing Daisies to catch up before the series (unfortunate) finale.

 

Why can't I just let go?  Even when the series isn't that good (Dirty Sexy Money) or as good as it used to be (House)?  Because i'm invested, that's why!

 

I like watching TV from all spectrums of entertainment.  Everything from the highly honored and respected to the downright ridiculous (ie Pick-Up Artist).  I invest in the characters and I refuse to let go for the most part.  Sometimes I'm willing to cut the cord if a show didn't blow me away off the bat, or got bad reviews before I ever even started watching (Fringe).  But once I'm hooked, I tend to stay there through all of the nightmarishly bad storylines right to the bitter end.

 

Not everything, though, can achieve my full attention the way that a new Amazing Race or Heroes can.  Some things just have to take a back-burner.  And sometimes those things will stay on the back-burner for quite a while.  But as long as the heat is still on, and as long as I'm still interested, that sucker is going to keep getting recorded.

 

Besides, this whole point will be moot when DTV rolls around in february and forces me to get a second DVR box in my bedroom so I can watch the news in the morning.  (And maybe record a Lost or Charm School marathon while it's just sitting there.

 

Cavalierly,

 

Patrick James