Dear Facebook Users,

I've been using Facebook for a little over 5 years now. In that time, it has boomed into what it is today. It's a monster of a social networking site. There are apps, games, plug-ins and who knows what else. But there are a few things about Facebook that really make me crazy. Let's visit a few:

1. Replacement for ACTUAL Social Interaction

I know it's convenient to see someone's birthday scrolling on the side of your browser. You click, you type out a little message and you feel good about yourself. But you know what's really nice? Calling someone on their birthday, sending a happy birthday text directly to their phone or even sending a dumb eCard or picture message with a dancing hippo.

The worse ones are when people post status updates akin to "Where are you, So&So?" or "Hey So&So wasn't that thing we did so awesome?!" Really? Why not post on their wall and save us all from having to look at it. And is Facebook really the only interaction with this person you can muster up?

Worser still are the PEOPLE that claim they don't know what's going on with you because "you haven't updated your Facebook in months!" Try picking up a phone, lazy-ass. Or when those same people are somewhere with you and you snap a photo or take a few group pictures and they immediately turn to you and say, "Oh you better put this on Facebook!" Ok, sure! Because my whole life totally needs to be cataloged on Facebook!!!

2. Shameless requests for "Likes"

This Like thing has really gotten out of control. I'll admit it. Sometimes I'm surfing the web and come across something I really, truly like and immediately look for that little thumbs up. More often than not, I'm not on Facebook. It's a habit.

But come on people, you're not going to get an award if a certain amount of people Like something on your page. You don't even get kudos, I'm pretty sure. So, do you really have to ask for people to like the things you've put into a status update?

Oh you know what I mean. LIKE THIS COMMENT IF YOU CAN'T WAIT FOR FRIDAY! LIKE THIS COMMENT IF YOU HAVE TEN TOES! LIKE THIS COMMENT IF YOU'VE EVER POOPED BEFORE! Ok those aren't actual examples, but you get the point.

3. Shameless need for comments/attention

Everyone likes to feel cared for, feel loved, feel like they have a friend. But posts that invoke someone to comment are just sad. "I feel sick," "I can't believe that happened," or "What should I have for dinner?" Seriously? Why don't you just post, "Please fawn all over me, I'm lonely," and we can move past the obviously wanted follow up comments: OMG what's wrong with you? What just happened? Have what I'm having! Oh forget it, Just come over!

That's what you're really looking for, right? I knew it.

4. Oversharing

You know who you are. Permanently attached at the hip to your Facebook app. At least, I hope it's your app. I can't imagine running to the computer every 5 seconds to post an update. Those that drone on and on and on about every waking second. "I just woke up," "About to head off to work," "Work is boring," "Ready to go home from work," "On the drive home I saw a birdie," "What should I make for dinner?" (See #3), "Sitting on the couch and watching some TV with So&So," "About ready to get in bed," "I remembered to floss!," and "Goodnight, Facebook." Who exactly are you talking to? You can't possibly think that everyone needs to know all that information. Oh wait... Are you secretly killing someone and need an alibi?! "But, Your Honor, I was clearly at home watching TV!" Ok, that makes the most sense.

5. DEMANDS for Re-Posting

Yeah, DEMAND. I really dislike the posts that say things like REPOST THIS OR YOU HAVE NO SOUL. REPOST THIS OR YOU LOVE WHEN PEOPLE GET CANCER. REPOST THIS OR EVERYONE WILL KNOW YOU'RE A TERRIBLE PERSON! I BET YOU WON'T REPOST THIS! I'm not re-posting your jibber jabber just because you're trying to guilt me into it. And, much like my examples, ARE USUALLY IN CAPS LOCK!

Ever heard the phrase, "You catch more flies with honey"?

6. Sad, passive-aggressive attempts to "tell someone how it is"

This one is funny to me, particularly, because I am Friends with both teens and adults on Facebook. The posts of this nature are hilariously similar. "I'm not going to say who, but you really made me mad. And I don't like you," "I'm not feeding into your drama," or "I'm just going to sit back and laugh while you guys fight it out. I'm better than you." It's hard to tell the difference between a teen post and an adult one, I bet if you guessed which were which in my examples you'd be wrong.

7. The need to let everyone know where you are at all times aka "Check-Ins"

No, I don't want you to tag me in a post where you're telling the whole world where I am. Especially if you do that every single time we hang out. It's annoying and sad and kinda makes you look like you're showing off (or at least trying to) how great your life is and how many friends you have. Believe me, if you're actually friends with people, they know. Just because you and two of your friends are at some restaurant for dinner doesn't make you sound any cooler. And no one really cares if you and your mom are at Target... again.