What's better than to let someone bludgeon your face then to maintain your relationship with them so that they could possibly do it again? I mean that shows your true love for the man (I use the word "man" loosely), and your commitment.
We've all known Tina and Ike, and God knows we all love Tina! I mean, maybe (and probably) from all this you'll get your own made for TV movie! And even maybe they'll take some artistic licenses and let the actor playing Chris Brown beat the actress playing you with an umbrella-ella-ella-eh-eh-eh..
Let's not forget to mention all the magazine sales you are responsible for. I mean this economy is tough. We need people like you to do completely stupid things so we can talk about them. I mean I wouldn't even be writing this blog (p.s. click a link! mama needs a new handbag)! And don't forget the people coming out of the woodwork to offer you FREE relationship advice! I mean people pay good money for that and they're just throwing it at you! You're so genius!
So many happy returns, Rihanna! May your remaining days with your loved one be as full of happiness and glee as the previous times have been. Maybe next time you'll just show up to the awards ceremony post-attack so we can see the extent of your love for each other. How nice.
Love,
Irma
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